Stress Less: Plug Up Energy Leaks
Stress Less: Plug Up energy Leaks
Your brain is a two million years old evolutionary marvel. It is not designed to make you happy. It is designed to help you make it to the next day. To do that it needs to notice everything that’s wrong and that’s good! But what if you give voice to all of those things you see? Join me in the next installment of Life Blow Up Prevention project and find out how a common, habitual practice can rob you of energy and make getting through the day a chore.
Hello and welcome back to Life Blow Up Prevention Project. I’m your host, and I’m on a kick.
In the last video, we talked about how easy it is to over emphasize difficult things that are happening by using a language that’s even bigger and it’s making these things seem even more dramatic than they were. I keep observing what I do and I noticed, and it is so insidious, that as much as I think of myself as a very positive person, I complain a lot!
It can be anything. I’m tired. The weather sucks. The traffic was horrible. Like these little things that are so socially accepted that nobody even thinks about it, but when I realized that what I was doing was complaining I really dove deeper into understanding why people complain.
And it’s actually for specific reasons why people complain. They complain to get attention. It could be that I really want to connect with someone and I want to talk to them but the easiest way to make this initial connection is to complain about the weather. Everybody in Chicago is talking about the weather.
It can be to remove responsibility. I may have showed up to work two minutes behind, and instead of apologizing to my patient and saying, I am a couple minutes late because I didn’t leave the house on time, I could say traffic was extra heavy today. I’m absolving myself of the responsibility for being late to work.
Sometimes people complain to inspire envy. It could be. Oh my boss is, just, they don’t know what they’re doing well. The implication is that the person complaining knows what they’re doing. It’s just really fascinating process . Gossiping it’s such a team sport.
Sometimes people can try to gain power to complain about a company or, or a situation and, and then enlist other people’s help in their support. They complain to gain power to influence the outcome.
And sometimes to excuse poor performance you know I hear it from my son all the time. Well I didn’t do well in math because the math teacher just sucks.
So, when we complain a lot, not only do we engage in these activities that kind of let us off the hook and gives us a permission; I’m gonna speak for myself; gives me permission to play smaller.
And there’s also like we talked about last time the associated biochemistry. So habitual complaining it’s like a slow leak of vital force of joy.
I don’t even realize how heavier and more difficult in my life becomes because complaining by default focuses on everything that’s wrong.
So, I have a challenge for you and I’m going to participate it in myself. And that is to undertake to not complain. Let’s start with a week, it is so difficult to not complain for a week. And you could do something as simple as putting a bracelet or a ring on one side and when you notice yourself complaining you switch it to the other hand and you start over.
And let me qualify what a complaint is what it isn’t. So, this is a complaint. The weather sucks. It’s not a complain. It’s snowing today I should leave early. Whenever you state something and you can see I’m tired, or I’m tired.
One is a statement of fact, one is a complaint. It is not a complaint when it’s stating something that’s not working, and you provide a solution. That is not a complaint. I have the traffic was really difficult the traffic was really awful. I will have to start leaving home 10 minutes early. That is not a complaint that is stating the problem and stating a solution.
So, it’s, it’s a really fun exercise, enlist your coworkers, enlist your friends and enlist your family, and both notice how much of your vital energy is spent on complaining, and how much of it can be harnessed by not complaining.
Let me know how it goes, share, subscribe to the channel. And I would love to see how the challenge is going, so leave your comments behind, and I look forward to hearing about your progress and join me for the next episode of Life Blod Up Prevention Project.
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